There is a resurgence of polyamorous unions. Young married couples who have been married for a few years but yearn for "something more" are experiencing a spike in this alternative marriage arrangement. This burgeoning way of life is about changing your monogamous contract in a mutually beneficial way. It comes from the Greek "Polloi," which means "many," and the Latin "amor," which means "love." There are some things to learn about this novel approach to marriage, whether you dare to try it or just want to know about it.
What Is Polyamory?
Contrary to outright infidelity, which involves spouses acting illicitly behind each other's backs, polyamory dating involves open liaisons. Additionally, it differs from polygamy, which allows only one person to have numerous partners. This new kind of marriage also referred to as "consensual polyamory" or "relationship anarchy," is quietly becoming more popular.
According to Dr. Tammy Nelson, a sex and relationship therapist, sex researcher, and author of the new book The New Monogamy Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity, couples who perceive themselves as primarily to one another but yearn for something more are attempting this relationship situation. "Other sexual partners might be included in a more open monogamy.”
Why Polyamory Is it on the Rise?
Love Beyond Lockdown: A Report on Navigating Marriage and Infidelity Through A Pandemic And A New Normal was recently published by Ashley Madison, the dating site used by the majority of married people looking to cheat with other married people. The motto of this incredibly popular website is "Life is short, have an affair."
The company wanted to understand married life during the lockdown and the reasons why so many married people are having extramarital affairs while at home with their spouses, so it conducted several anonymous member surveys. Increased stress, sex, divorce, infidelity during a pandemic, and "the future of marriage and monogamy" are among the subjects covered in the study.
History of Polyamory and What's Next?
A little background information helps put the future of polyamorous marriage into perspective. Polyamory, formerly known as "group marriage," has its roots in the Californian free-love movement of the late 1960s and early 1970s. Around 1971, the Kerista commune, a hippie communal living arrangement in San Francisco, coined the term "polyfidelity." It's distinct from "swinging," which is consensual sex with another couple while sharing a room. In a polyamorous relationship, you might even fall in love with someone besides your spouse.
While it may sound fun to start a new, exciting relationship and fall in love while you are still married, the drawback to all of this is jealousy. It can be devastating to see your spouse fall in love with someone right in front of you. Instead, the hippies used the idea of "Compersion," which is a "feeling of pleasure or deep emotion arising from your partner being with another partner," to solve the polygamy conundrum. frequently described as the antithesis of jealousy.
If you're envious of someone moving in with your husband or wife, polyamory is not for you. For long-term couples who are close to divorcing because of sexual incompatibility or for those who want to try something different, it frequently works as a marriage alternative.
This may also entail having sex with someone else or having sex in front of the other person, as well as allowing each other to go on dates with nonsexual partners. Or perhaps she envisions a fantasy threesome with a third guy. The key takeaway is that in non-monogamous relationships, the woman typically sets the ground rules.
Open communication is crucial with any form of "alternative" sex. When the pandemic is over, Dr. Nelson predicts that some marriages won't have survived because their couplehood wasn't strong enough to survive the disease. They will discover that they are closer than ever to other couples. Couples have learned from the pandemic to be more open and honest with one another about their needs and wants. The path to a better marriage and sex life is to be more open about what you like and don't like.
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Everyone wants to be in a relationship where they feel wanted and valued. They also require their partner to excite them sexually. Non-monogamy may seem radical, but, as Dr. Nelson points out, "couples may occasionally need to find an outside relationship to fill in the gaps." She also asserts that women frequently demand relationship changes. Women "no longer tolerate unsatisfactory sex"
And occasionally, it involves more than just sex. The majority of sex therapists will inform you that while some couples claim their sex life is wonderful, they yearn for deeper emotional closeness. According to the Ashley Madison study, many people who cheated also sought after an "emotional connection" that their marriage had broken. 1 According to Dr. Nelson, the pandemic has made it harder to get to the point where couples are once again feeling connected. Couples are fighting constantly because the pandemic has made previously minor problems worse.
Conclusions
The study discovered that the main complaint of married people during the lockdown is a lack of sexual initiation. Seventy-five percent of cheaters leave their marriages when faced with stress and uncertainty rather than turning to their partner.
In fact, the pandemic has increased the desire and capacity for cheating.
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